True Life: I used to be an Emotional Disaster

I made the best cup of iced coffee from a Keurig machine this morning and I am honestly just feeling so inspired (recipe will be noted at the end). I’ve been feeling really puzzled by “emotional maturity” lately. Growing up, I was the most emotional bitch in the entire world, honestly. In middle school (dear god) I would literally cry almost every single day in 6th period science class over absolutely nothing… someone would look at me wrong and it would be water works for at least 45 minutes. It was a serious problem lol. From then to now there has been a very swift change; this swell of over-emotional angst plagued me from the age of 12 to just about three months ago. By that I mean that I haven’t cried in three months… and let me assure you that has nothing to do with a lack of emotional, cry-worthy shit happening. I just literally cannot cry. I have shed a tear every now and again, but it hasn’t been to the degree of how I used to cry. Ugh this is so stupid lol. It’s really weighing on me though, man. Like this is real shit that I am dealing with:/

At what point does someone become “emotionally mature”? Right now, I feel that it is when you can look at a situation completely objectively, not throw yourself a pity party, and not feel bitter about it later. Being able to move on from things and forgive people even if they hurt you… and that doesn’t mean looking over shitty people’s actions; like if someone seriously caused you an emotional-toll and shows no remorse then maybe they really don’t deserve the benefit of the doubt. But on the other side of that, maybe it’s okay to look at that person with humanity and try to understand why they did what they did… maybe it’s okay to forgive someone, if not for them than just to give yourself some peace of mind.

Emotional maturity isn’t always about direct forgiveness either. I think a big part of it is choosing to be at peace with whatever they did to you and just leaving it at that… letting go of pent-up feelings and moving on. That doesn’t require some big conversation or reconciliation. One day you could just wake up and decide, “you know, carrying around these angry feelings is hurting me more than it is hurting them, I think it’s time to let go”. Sticking to that frame of mind isn’t passive or naive… to me it seems like one of the most mature things someone can do. That definitely doesn’t mean you have to associate with whoever hurt you, though. You can choose not to fuck with them but still forgive. That is completely valid and understandable.

The truth is, people fuck up constantly. Getting close to people is simultaneously the best and worst thing you can do for yourself. The minute you choose to let someone in is the same moment they have the capability of destroying your trust, emotions and heart. It is the cold, hard truth of the world, unfortunately. However, I think part of the beauty of life is the rawness of seeing how absolutely shit of a human someone can be but still thinking the sun shines out of their ass. Ahh the romance of it all.

I’m still learning a lot about emotional maturity and every day I have to wake up and choose to look at situations objectively. I know that I am going to make a lot of mistakes and that sometimes I can be too forgiving, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. Life can be whatever the hell you want it to be and that is a fact. Maybe you can’t choose your circumstances but you can definitely choose how you are going to deal with them, and I think that all starts with how you look at life.

Just be positive:) drink some waater sweaty:) live laugh love:)

 

Note: There are for sure people and situations that don’t deserve your forgiveness. There are humans who are really just shitty to the core and don’t deserve to be looked at as people or given the benefit of the doubt. I am more saying that you can’t take everything so hard… that sometimes there are other things going on that should be considered. Maybe those reasons don’t make up for what someone did to you, and that is totally fine and it is going to be your call if they are worthy of your forgiveness. Honestly I am just think out loud here. Idk man:/

Note 2.0: I am also not saying that in order to be emotionally mature than you can’t cry… that is completely ridiculous. I wish I could cry, dude:/ Lmk if anyone has any helpful tips:/

Bomb as Fuck Iced Coffee Recipe:

  • Get a large ass mug
  • Put some ice in that shit (all the way to the top, that shit will melt)
  • Fill it halfway with some half & half
  • Put that bitch under the Keurig despenser, choose a Keurig cup of your liking (I used Cafe Bustelo (bomb as hell)) and put it on the 4oz setting
  • Top it off with, like, 3 spoonfuls of sugar and stir that shit up
  • Enjoy bitch, you’re welcome

Not spons:-)

Who am I lol. I’ve been watching too much Sarah Baska on YouTube.

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